You Brat
by Karasu878
Summary: Gannon desides he is going to leave Hyrule alone for a while, but even then the Goddesses punsh him with someone new...and REALLY ANNOYING. Rated M for Choice Words & Violence & "ect." Hiatus just for a little while...and by the way: This is a crack story just for fun so read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

Hi this is not my first story ,but it is my first one to post. I hope you enjoy it!

WARNINGS: Slight violence & Cussing  
>DISCLAMER: I do not own Legend of Zelda!<p>

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><p>It was a mistake to try and hunt for food in the Lost Woods. I'd had food and I didn't need it. I should have waited another day. But, something tells me I would have met <em>her<em> even if I didn't visit the Lost Woods in the first place.

_Why me?_

_Okay I've might have tormented your kingdom for centuries….. (However, I'm sure you guys could stop me being reborn if you wanted) Was that "hero" not enough punishment for you? I don't have to deal with him now and for a reason you would approve of. Why you Damned Goddesses?_

"Hey Pig man! What are you dazing about?" A short girl yelled as she proceeded to throw sharp knives at me. Of course I blocked them easily.

"Answer me! You good for nothing blob of shit!" She screeched making my eardrums thrum with pain. She giggled as she saw she was annoying me _extremely_ bad.

"Shut up you fucking brat!"

I would have left if the monsters in my way would move, but because of my bad luck… they decided not to when I asked earlier.

"Whatever, let's go to Death Mountain Ganny!"

"You don't order me around ... And don't call me that! "

"Is the Retarted Fucking Demon Lord Gannon better?"

"No! … Wait! How the hell do you know my name?"

"Why? We have known each other more than long enough."

"We just met 15 minutes ago!" I yelled frustrated.

"Remember how wonderful it was Ganny? You know when we first met?"

"Yes, you ran into me in the forest and decided that I was going to be your meal this afternoon" I rubbed the bite on my arm. At least now it wasn't bleeding anymore.

"Now tell me how the hell you know my name!"

"I know lots of things."

"I doubt that." I pulled out a bottle of wine I had brought with me.

"Like how you still sleep with your stuffed bear Mr. Woozles." I choked on the wine and started to spew it to the side. The girl started laughing hard. I grabbed her sliver hair and started pulling.

" What the hell? Are you stalking me?" The little girl started to squirm.

"Oww! Oww! Ganny is hurting me!"

"Answer me you brat!"

"I'm not! My ability told me!"

"What?" I stopped pulling.

"Anytime I look into someone's eyes I know almost everything about them. Mostly through memories."

I let go of her hair

"I don't believe you, but as long as you go away you will get to keep the hair on your head."

The girl rubbed her head as I punched the monsters out of the way. Then she called out a little irritated.

"Leaving without even asking my name? Rude"

She tisked and suddenly she sounded much older than she seemed.

"Fine." I stopped halfway out of the forest "Tell me who you are."

However, there was no answer.

Just singing.

I sighed "Crazy brat."

I left the forest quickly. I had food anyway.

I laid down in my tent drifting off to the sound of a child singing.

Guiltily holding on to my Mr. Woozles.

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><p>Yeah Gannon Loves his Mr. Woozles! XD<p>

I will post a new chapter everytime I see a review (almost). Sorry Its short ,but the chapters will edvenshuly get bigger. (and yes I know I spelled that wrong)

Review OwO?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Guys last chapter before I demand at least one review. I like feedback. I will be posting another story to as well. If you like Pandora Hearts' Break, I'd look at it!  
>Disclaimer:I do not and most likely will not ever own Legend of Zelda<p>

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><p>You Brat Chapter 2<p>

The morning came shortly, and I was packing up to move somewhere else. Why am I the Great Gannondorf… traveling instead of being my normal evil self?

Well… After being killed so many times, it really got embarrassing and boring. So I decided I would go find something interesting. So far I've traveled out of my home and I've made it to the lost woods. Nothing to special.

So now I'm going to Lake Hylia. Not two steps after getting out of the Lost Woods, though I hear a dooming voice.

"So Ganny, where are we going next?"

I jumped and turned around to see the sliver haired girl from the night before.

"What the- Wait YOUR NOT COMING WITH ME BRAT!"

She ignored me and stated "Oh and about my name… I don't exactly have one."

"Will you listen-"

"But,-" She cut me off. "As long as you don't come up with something stupid, you can call me anything you like."

I sighed. There was no use. I couldn't use threats. She'd know they would be empty threats. As she proved yesterday (I did believe her though I said I didn't), she knew almost everything about me no matter if I liked it or not. Therefor she knew I did not want a murder on my head (in this lifetime anyway).

Oh, and I wasn't going to beg. I still have some pride.

"What's a matter Ganny? Can't you think of one?"

"I hardly know what you are much less what to call you."

I told her. I knew that she couldn't be a resident of the village in the woods. They stay kids FOREVER and I would have seen her there before.

She isn't a zora because she had no fins. She's clearly not a Gordon. She isn't made of stone. Not one of my kind ether. She is too pale. I don't believe she is hylain ether.

The girl looked at me blankly.

"Ganny is a fucking tard."

I growled at her with my face steaming. She giggled and laughed at my face.

"Can't you tell by the way I act? I'm a fairy"

I narrowed my eyes.

"Really… Where is all your glitter and wings then? And, shouldn't you be smaller?"

Her face got a little red giving me some satisfaction.

"I'll have you know I'm not that fucking kind of fairy."

I chuckled. "Fine you're a fairy." I started to walk and the "fairy" steadily followed me as she began to speak again.

"I still don't have a name~!"

"I'm thinking about it."

"But, Ganny~!"

"Shut up or it will be just plain Brat."

That kept her quiet for a while. However, when we got to the lake not to long after…

"It's not fun being a nobody you know~!"

I dropped everything, put my hands on my face, and groaned in complete frustration.

"What?"

"SHUT UP!"

"I wanta name!"

"I'm thinking you brat!"

"Hurry up!"

"Your reaaally annoying you know." I sighed just wanting to drown myself in the lake already.

She turned a little red with anger.

"You're really retarted!"

"Why don't you just come up with a name yourself?" I growled.

"Because it doesn't work that way!" She screeched.

"I don't see why you don't have a name anyway!" I stabbed hoping to get some sort of a reaction.

"That is none of your concern." Once again she started to sound older.

My anger bubbled up again.

"You know almost everything about me, yet you won't bother to tell me this simple little thing?"

"It's not simple" she growled. "It's very personal and I keep out of others privacy…" She looked to the bag where I kept Mr. Woozles

"mostly" She chuckled the last part very quietly.

I shook my head and started to set up my tent. I would hunt later and I wanted to sleep here before going anywhere else.

"You know you don't have to stay in Hyrule. After all, if you're going to travel it mind as well be to places you haven't been to before." The fairy said matter-of-factly.

"I assume you have been outside of Hyrule before."

I looked behind me to see her face light up and her starting to act like a kid again. I don't know why, but it made me feel relieved to see that. It just seems like if she were to stay sad that everything around her would turn cold.

"Oh yeah! I've been to plenty of places!" She giggled.

"Sadly though, there are little countries that are really weak."

She skipped over to me and added "The poor things are so weak you could take over them!"

I then decided to strangle her, but she jumped into the air and… stayed there?

"What-?"

"I'm a fairy Remember? Of course I can fly!"

Then she disappeared. However, I could still hear her speak.

"Don't forget to think of a name!"

I growled quietly.

I could tell I was not going to get rid of her for a long while.

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><p>Like it? I hope you do. So plz review?<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't see the fairy for the rest of the day as I hunted and thought long and hard about my options:

-Going out of Hyrule actually could potentially be really dangerous for even me. The only other places I've managed to be are Termia, Gerudo, and the Twilight realm. However, there really was no reason to stay was there?

Now on to the other half:

-I have no idea where the hell this fairy has come from or why the hell she is following me around like a lost little puppy…that's seriously demented in some serious ways. Is she bearable? Fuck no, but maybe if she could be useful for something…..Then at least she would just make me completely mad. She would be helping me too.

After that think over I decided that I would leave Hyrule.

I also decided on a name.

The next day I made sure I had plenty of supplies, and food. Just as I was leaving (I hoped she wouldn't pop up at all), the sliverette fairy appeared…..on my shoulder.

"You should get a horse."

"Get off my shoulder."

"No thanks, it's very comfortable up here and it has such a nice view."

"I'm not asking now get the fuck off."

"Push-y today is we?"  
>I growled in frustration as the now all-too familiar headache set back in.<p>

"You're getting on my nerves brat."

"That's the whole point you silly thing!" I then slowly and as casually as I could proceeded to grab her ankle to chunk her out into the trees, out of sight. I sighed in relief and tried to continue on my way.

"That wasn't very nice…" Someone whimpered.

_Do I dare look at my shoulder?_

I slowly looked with what could only be horror washing across my face and I saw the fairy there picking branches out of her hair. She then laughed very giddy like:

"You didn't really think I would be that easy to get rid of now did you?"I groaned and then went on with what I originally planned.

"I've thought of a name."

"You did!" she squealed disbelief running through her voice as if she was sure I wouldn't have.

"Yes, but I want to know something first."

"Whaaaaaat?"She wined.

"How long do you plan on following me around?"

"I have absolutely had no idea myself..."

_In other words until you become too boring and/or I find better entertainment._

"Fine then, for as long as you do, you will have to guide me through these 'different lands'"

"That's fine with me!" she sang.

"Now tell me my name!"

"Nari" I had to stop myself from chuckling. She was even more annoying than Navi, but she deserved to have the name.

"Nari?"

"Yes, do you not like it?"

"I love it!" She screamed as she went to choke me with a hug.

"Let…m-me g-go." I managed out. Nari did so for once and floated in front of me.

"Alright! As your guide I will inform you that if you go through Death Mountain you'll arrive at the place I've have lived in once called Namimo. If you take the right path it should take at least 2 weeks by foot. Or, we can take a secret path through the Lost Woods and come to the unpleasant town of Lonu. That would take 5 days by foot, however I highly would recommend not staying or even going it's basically a dead end."

"What if I get a horse?" I was shocked by how much she knew. She was going to be more useful than I thought.

"Well Ganny (I'd wish she wouldn't call me that.), Lonu has the best horses I know of. If you get your hands on one of them you could get to Namimo in 5 days. Oh, that farm sells horses, so if I were you I would get one of theirs and it would take 3 days to Lonu."

"So to Lon Lon Ranch then to Lonu, and then to Namimo?"

"Oh how very smart you are! Yes!"

My eyebrow twitched violently.

"If you were to do this instead of 2 weeks it would take 8 days to go to Namimo."

"How many places have you been? To know all of that I mean..."

"I've lost count. But, I think I've been travelling for….. 30 years.

I gave Nari a hard stare until she broke.

"What seems to be so interesting about my face?"

"You look like your 10."

Nari's face started turning red and I could have sworn the temperature scooped down to -30 degrees.

"Don't ever say that again." She growled dangerously.

I nodded frantically.

"OK!" She said cheerfully as if nothing just happened.

"Let's go get a horse Ganny!"

"Stop calling me that!"

She giggled. "Never!"

I was curious so as we walked (rather I walked while Nari rode) to Lon Lon Ranch I kept Nari busy with questions (even though she gave me an annoying hell for each one.)

What I managed to wrangle from her was this:

-Lonu is really the only town in their area and the only other way to go somewhere else without going through Hyrule is through this really overpowering empire that would probably try to kill me on the spot or through the carpet of complete wilderness. Like Nari said before, it was a dead end.

-Nari had lived in Namimo for 5 years and most of the citizens there know her (and love her somehow), so everything should be pretty cheap for me there.

-After Namimo there is Minik. It's lowly populated, but it had a secret that Nari hasn't figured out. (I told her it was because she was a moron and she responded in a nice tone that I was a fucking idiot and so I'd probably wouldn't find out ether.)

At least I know what to do now.

The only problem:

My guide works for the time to annoy me.


	4. Day Of The Trickster

**HeY! Hows it going? Thanks for reviewing guys! Keep in mind that your reviews is what is needed for me to POST! Eventally or however you spell that. :D**

**`You Brat Chapter 4**

Nari had quickly decided after I had gained my horse, that she was bored and insisted all of a sudden that I was in some kind of deep depression or something.

"Nari for the fucking millionth time I am not depressed."

"Well it's not my fault that you have a permanent frown on your face!"

"UGG! I'll frown if I want to DAMN IT!"

"Well it's unattractive and I refuse to have you frowning the whole of the time when I'm here."

"Then LEAVE!" I yelled, and then mumbled "You make it out like you have to stay."

"I refuse!" She giggled apparently not hearing my mumbles. "Now come on its not that hard!"

"What?"  
>Her fingers drawled the shape of a crescent moon on its side slowly.<p>

"Smmmillleee"

"Forget it."

"Oh come on Ganny don't be such a downer!"

"I'll do what I want you piece of shit."

Nari sighed dramatically putting a hand on her forehead while dramatic music played in the background seemingly out of nowhere.

"_You _are just as fun as a pile of shit, Ganny."

"You are just as fucking annoying as a horde of mosquitos so we're even."

"You're a damn tard."

"You're a lunatic."

Nari placed a hand over her heart as the music played louder. (Just don't ask it was becoming frequent and I had learned not to question it.) Nari pulled a face.

"Aww, Ganny that hurt my dearest."

"Good." I grunted as I saw the first signs of sunset in the corner of my eye.

Nari yawned softly.

"Hey." I turned from watching the calming sunset to face my destructive companion.

"What?"

"Can I snuggle with Mr. Woozles tonight?"

"NO!"

The next morning Nari had launched at my back and stayed there calming that no sleep had come to her. There was no possibility of pulling her off me without cutting her arms off, so I let her stay.

It was halfway through the day when I noticed she had not said a word (which it was surprising I had _not_ noticed) at all.

"Hey."  
>I heard no response so again:<p>

"Hey Nari."  
>Nothing<p>

"What's with you?" I stopped the horse to look back at her.

She was a sleep.  
>I chuckled a little under my breath. As annoying as she was, I wasn't a shamed to say she did look cute passed out like that.<p>

Since I liked her much more in the way she was, I let her sleep on.  
>It was then almost night again when she suddenly screamed herself awake.<p>

I had stopped immediately and somehow wrung the still screaming fairy off of my neck and placed her on the ground. She was still screaming as she scrambled on the ground until I grabbed her by her shoulders.

"What the hell Nari!? Get a hold of your shit!" Somehow, me yelling at her convinced her to take deep heaving breaths.

Oh, but it wasn't over, nooooo… She then decided to break out into sobs, crying hysterically.

_What the fuck? Did she have a nightmare or something?_

Since I clearly had no idea what to do (I mean did you expect something like that from her?) I just stood there until she cried it out. However, when we began to lose light, I picked her up and just carried on. I don't know why I didn't just leave her there.

"Nari if you don't stop I'm going to rip your throat out, or you'll be sick."

"I...I don't care."

"Now who is the depressed one?" I mumbled. She stopped crying for the rest of the day. When we went to go to bed again though she suddenly all like her normal self-asked:

"HEY! GANNY!"

"What!?"

"Can I sleep with Mr. Woozles? ~"

This time I didn't object.

**Hehe Nari you little trickster.**

**REVIEW PLZZZZZ!**


	5. Notice

I am soooo sorry guys but my files got deleted so im putting this on Hiatus until I get them back K?


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